All the time
When I see things like this, it makes me wonder. I wonder why she feels this way. I wonder if she is content with where she is in life. When I see things like this, it scares me. It scares me to think that had she not auditioned and made it on the X Factor if she would have even tried to pursue a music career at all. I can’t fathom the thought of never getting to hear her beautiful and raw voice….Never getting to hear the dynamic harmonies that can only be completed with all five of them. I wonder if she wishes that she could have been doing something different. I wonder where her heart would be had she went a different path. I wonder what different regrets or different contentment’s she would have…or if she would be just as happy on her new path as she is now. I wonder if the stress she endures makes her resent her choice. I wonder if she ever feels like giving up when she sees mean and cruel comments said about her. When I see things like this it makes me sick. I wish I could sit and talk to her even if only for 5 minutes. I would tell her that she couldn’t have made a better decision. Maybe she would be just as happy had she gone in another direction in her life…but personally, I don’t think she would have been able to impact or touch as many people as she has. She has helped so many people in just the past 2 years of having chosen this path. Lives have been saved because of her. Personally, I am a better person because of her. I don’t feel so bad for just being myself because she reminded me that being myself and loving myself is the best damn thing I could ever do. She reminds me that dreams can become a reality if you just work at it….sure it’s hard and you deal with difficult situations, but nothing tastes sweeter than when all your hard work pays off. Anytime I have a gig or I have to sing in front of people and I feel nervous, I think of them. I actually wore my harmonizer snapback I got from NLT to my very first gig….. I auditioned for the Voice at the beginning of the year and I was beyond nervous. I had never sang in front of anyone except my vocal teacher and my best friends. My own parents hadn’t heard me sing. So to calm my nerves I thought of Lauren. I thought of all of the girls. I thought of how nervous they were when they auditioned and I thought of everything they have accomplished. And once they called my name and I opened my mouth to sing ,my nerves became nonexistent.
If i ever had more than 10 seconds with the girls I would tell them how much they have helped me. I wish they knew that I am confident in pursing my dreams because of them. If i ever feel hopless or cynical about my desires, all I have to do is watch a video of them living out their dream and instantly I have a smile on my face and a newfound hope. Lauren has always had this special place in my heart. Her intelligence and her confidence are undeniably unique. The very last time I met them, I went to hug them all one last time before my friend and I were forced to leave, and right before Lauren hugged me, she looked me in the eyes and said “We have met you before.” I dont know why that is such a big deal to me but it is. I told my friend earlier that I hope they remeber us and Lauren was the only one to recognize me. Its funny how such a small thing can mean so much. Maybe I am reading too much into this. Sorry for making this so long…but I just hope she is content with her choice…because her choice is the reason I am content with mine.
"For someone to believe in you, is always the best feeling in the world."#lauren jauregui #fifth harmony #personal #long #ssweet-dispositionn #sorry for my long rant in advance